I've Been in the Hospital

 “The clocks in here, they’re a joke?”

“You’re back.

“I left?”

“For real, dude? Yeah, couple times.”

“I needed a second opinion?”

“Ha! Oh, you’re serious. Word to the wise: there’s always someone who’ll tell you what you want to hear.”

“What do I want to hear?”


“Let’s try it again. I say, Lesion. You say, Huh? I say, What I mean is cancer. You say, Oh. Huh. Got it?”

“Sorry, Doc. I’m here for the kidney or the appendix?”

“Appendix. The kidney hasn’t happened yet.”


“What about the reimbursables?”

“Mm hmm.”

“The aquatic situation.”

“Deep breath in, William.”

“What am I losing this time?”


“What time is it?”

“It’s ok, honey. I’m sorry to wake you.”

“Ow ow ow ow.”

“Sorry for the pinch.”

“But not for taking my blood.”

“You have no idea how much blood you don’t need.”