Pantiusly Yours

(There will be days when you have nothing more to offer than the stubborn remains of a failed Catholicism, an obsession with pants, and a grudging admiration for TV admen (the sheer persistence). Offer it anyway and come back tomorrow.)

Illustration key

1. Note the left leg is shorter (sitting at the Right Hand is hard on a body).
2. Billy Mays would show up 2,000 years too late for Pilate.
3. Pilate would ultimately lose the lawsuit against the exercise regimen that bears his name (but you should see his core).
4. From his notes: Calvary or cavalry? It shouldn't count as anti-Semitic if I was drunk, right? If drunkenness is not the universal hall pass (h/t Brett Cavanaugh), what is? Besides, it was oneeee timeeee! Onneeee! Minus the other times! Glass houses! Lo! Behold! Let he who is without sin! Send in the calvary, motherfuckers! ("Clowns" is the word he's looking for. Send in the clowns 🤡.)